OMG, everyone! I’ve been invited to go ghost hunting with a group of paranormal investigators! This has been on my to-do list ever since I first realized the P.I. world is filled with really hot guys!
Now, of course the first question on my mind was what does one wear to go paranormal investigating? Would you believe there’s next to nothing on the subject on the internets? Type in “What to wear to a summer wedding,” and there’s pictures, charts, diagrams, Pinterest boards, but for the question of “What to wear to a ghost hunt,” I only found one post on Yahoo answers. Here were some of the suggestions:
- “It doesn’t matter what you wear, just don’t forget your plasma blaster.”
- “Something bright and shiny, this will scare away the chupacabras and bigfoots.”
- “A white sheet, but stay out of the south.”
Clearly I needed to delve deeper, which basically meant another internet search for what P.I.s wear on TV and in the movies. After intensive research I narrowed P.I.s down to three types:
1. Reality TV P.I.s You know them from shows like Paranormal State and Ghost Adventures. Their uniform is jeans with black, jeans with something close-to-black, or jeans with anything Ed Hardy. This poses a problem for me because I live in San Francisco and if the hipsters catch you wearing Ed Hardy non-ironically you’re set on fire and thrown into the bay.
2. P.I.s in the Movies Paranormal investigators in the movies are mostly women. Not women in black leather catsuits either like you’d expect. These ladies favor ruffles, scarves, house dresses, transparent aviator sunglasses, and avoiding their hair colorists at all costs. Not exactly style icon material.
3. Ghostbusters Not much else to say here except, nope! That beige jumpsuit would do nothing for my pear-shaped figure. It would be like asking to get slimed!
So basically the question was, how could I look like a serious P.I. without wearing Ed Hardy, an updo, or a proton pack? After a few more days of research and quiet meditation I came up with this:
What To Wear On A Ghost Hunt
Black catwoman outfit - First of all, duh. You need to look hot in case one of those paranormal shows is there and you end up on TV. I will not, however, be wearing high-heeled thigh-high boots, because I’m not Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Crucifix necklace– Does anyone have a cute one they can lend me?
Mask – You don’t want the ghosts to know who you are, do you?
Rubber duck floaty – Just in case there’s a storm, like in the movie Poltergeist and ghosts attack and you run outside and fall into a half-dug pool that’s filled with water and all these dead bodies start popping out of the water and try to eat your face.
Protein bar -By protein bar, I mean cupcake. You need to keep your blood sugar up in case a ghost attacks.
Wooden stake & holy water - Where there are ghosts there are sure to be vampires too. Be prepared for anything.
Ghost Hunting Starter Kit – This is a real thing! You can buy it here.
Utility belt – To hold your wooden stake, holy water, ghost hunting starter kit stuff, and cupcake.
Agate cuff – This doesn’t do anything, but it’s cute, right? And it’s pink to match your shoes, and your cupcake.
Running shoes – Just in case this happens: Okay, that’s it for now. Check back next week when I’ll report on the actual ghost hunt! (That is unless I fall into that swimming pool full of dead bodies and they eat my face.)